My twenties were a whirlwind of amazing highs, and some terrible lows. I accomplished things I once only dreamed of doing. I smiled, cried, laughed and screamed. I graduated with two degrees. I moved to a different state, not once, but twice. I got married, had two beautiful children. I found a job I was truly passionate about. I also developed an eating disorder.
Recovered. Relapsed. Recovered. Relapsed. I just wanted to be happy and healthy.
Although I am not fully engulfed and controlled by my eating disorder at this very moment, I still very much have an eating disorder.
Am I at a healthy weight for my body? Nope.
Do I let my eating disorder control everything little thing about my life? Nope.
I am working towards recovery, striving to be happy and healthy.
I try to better myself every day and to make myself the best, healthiest person I can be. Not only for me, but for my family. I know that close loved ones feel the pain of an eating disorder. Which is why I am making recovery my number one priority. I do not want my children fall into grips of an eating disorder. I want my children to happy and healthy.
I recently turned thirty, never imagining that I would have gone through so much in my twenties. I am determined to make my next thirty years healthier. I have learned so much and gained so much wisdom. With the help of my family, I finally sought treatment and therapy.
I suffered for so long by myself, and in denial, never admitting my eating disorder to anyone. My family, of course, knew better. I always thought if I didn’t talk about it then it wasn’t true.
I was so wrong.
I felt somewhat relieved when I finally began therapy. It sounds so cliché, but talking about it, definitely helped. Once I began opening up, I was able to learn so much more about myself and how to help myself.
I want to use my journey to help people going through the same thing. I don’t want anyone to ever suffer in silence for as long as I did because they feel ashamed, scared, or embarrassed. Life is way too short.
Will I have bad days? Of course.
I hope that the good will outweigh the bad. I want to learn and grow more; so I can be an advocate for anyone needing someone to help them find their voice. I wish I didn’t go through what I did, but in doing so, I feel I ended up exactly where I needed to be. I want to live out the rest of my life being happy and healthy.
So, here is to growing older, embracing, cherishing, and loving everything that comes along with it. Here is to lending a helping hand and a listening ear to what others have to say. Here is to agreeing to disagree. Here is to being happy and healthy. Here is to 30.